


Vocabulary Lessons

by FranklyMrShankly



Series: Our Life, Together [3]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Awkward, Daughters, Domestic, M/M, Sex Talk, The Talk, brief but graphic sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:49:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4257060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FranklyMrShankly/pseuds/FranklyMrShankly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank and Gerard's daughter does her vocabulary homework at breakfast, but Gerard is pretty sure these aren't words assigned by her teacher.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Vocabulary

"You know," I said, smirking. "You wouldn't have to get up so early on Monday mornings if you would finish your homework over the weekend, Maggie."  I stood over the stove, scrambling eggs, while my daughters Maggie and Max were sitting at the table in the kitchen. 

"Sorry, Daddy!" the twelve year old mumbled sleepily, bent over her vocabulary workbook. "Maxie doesn't have weekend homework. This isn't fair!"

"Max is in kindergarten, baby. When she starts first, she'll have homework just like you did." I went back to work on the kids' breakfast, browning some vegetarian sausage in a pan. The kids and I weren't strictly veggies, but it made life easier to just cook one kind of breakfast meat. It wasn't really that bad, and I had to admit, my cholesterol was improving.

"Seventh grade is hard, Dad! I'm not a fan. Not at all," Maggie complained.

"YEAH!" Max chimed in. "I'm not going to seventh grade. NOPE. I'm going to stay in kindy with my friends for forever."

I smiled and turned off the frying pan before walking over and kissing Maxine's forehead. "Your friends are all going to go to first grade next year, too. Do you want to be the only kid left behind? With a whole new class? First graders eat in the cafeteria and play on the playground all at the same time, too. You would be so lonely MadMax." 

She huffed and nodded. "Fine. I'll go to first, but you can't make me go to seventh. It makes my sister cry. Fuck that!"

I narrowed my eyes. "Maxine Carmen Iero-Way? What's the rule about swears?" 

"Not at school or in front of adults that aren't you, Papa, Uncle Mikey or Uncle RayRay." She recited dutifully. 

"There's my girl," I cooed and kissed her forehead. "What could you say instead? Get creative!"

"Uh... FUNK THAT!" She giggled and then danced a little in her seat. "Funk that funky bull-spit." 

I laughed and nodded. "Yep. That works!" The toast popped up and I went to put breakfast together. The whole family hated mornings except for me. There was a time when I would have gladly stayed in bed until noon at the earliest, but that was before I had my work and my family; there were things to wake up for now. 

"Creative cursing again? Before breakfast?" I heard my husband ask groggily. I turned to set plates on the table, including one for him, and smiled at his appearance. He was dressed for the day, like we all were, but there were clouds in his eyes from sleep that could only be erased with coffee or vigorous good-morning sex. Since the girls were present, I chose to fill my husband's cup instead of suggesting other things to be filled. 

His eyes widened at the sight of my pouring coffee into his waiting mug and pushing the sugar dish at him. He grabbed my arm, and pulled me in for a kiss, all the while spooning sugar into his cup and stirring. "Good morning. I love you." 

I wasn't really sure if he meant me or the coffee. I had already had four cups. 

"I love you, too, Frankie." 

"Papa!" Max whined. "You're kissing Daddy! You looooovveeee Daddy. You wanna kiss him all the time." 

Frank laughed and speared a piece of sausage with his fork. "Yes. Papa loves Daddy very much and kisses him every single day." 

I grinned and sat at my own seat, sipping my coffee and picking at my toast. Frank was great with the kids, even better than me. We'd had Maggie since she was one and Max since she was about four months old. You'd think in the eleven plus years of watching Frank be a father, I would have gotten used to it. But here we were, he was smiling and laughing and carrying on conversations with the kids and I was just so in love with how happy they made each other. How happy they all made me. 

We were about halfway through breakfast and Maggie pulled out her notes again, wanting to finish before I took them to school. This time, she pulled out a hand written sheet. "Papa?" She asked Frank. "Can you help me with some definitions, please?" 

Frank? Help with vocabulary homework? I smirked at him and stood up to start washing dishes. I couldn't help laughing as I went, though. It was seventh grade, how bad could it be, right? 

Frank flipped me his middle finger and then turned to our eldest. "Sure, Mags. Hit me," he replied, chewing his toast. 

"Satisfied." 

"Oh. That means that you're happy with a result. Everything has gone as planned," Frank answered. I didn't correct him. He was pretty much right. 

"Tight." 

"Constricted? No... that's more difficult than the word you gave me. Squeezed. Oh, c'mon. You're twelve! You know what tight is! Like when your pants are too snug." I laughed at Frank. Of course she would have easy words. It was grammar school, not her senior year.

"Inflict.... I guess this means as in pain? To inflict pain?"

"Right!" Frank enthused, happy she'd gotten a harder word in the right context. "Inflict means to cause." 

"So, if I were to say that I didn't want to inflict pain...?" Maggie edged.

"You would be saying that you didn't want to hurt someone. Good job, Mags!" 

"Okay, next word," she said. "Stretch." 

My eyebrows shot up. This was getting too familiar. There was no way... 

"Stretch is when something moves or becomes bigger when it's forced to. Like your leggings. They look really small, but when you put them on, your legs stretch them to the right size." Frank looked proud of his answer, and I turned to face him, leaning against the counter and shooting him a look that said CAUTION. 

He didn't get it. 

"Okay, Papa. Silent?" That word wasn't too alarming... in and of itself. Shit.

"Silent means quiet, Maggie. You know this. These are kind of easy," Frank admonished.

"Right, sorry. Blissed." 

Frank's eyebrows rose up. "That's uh... an unusual word. It means super happy. Bliss is extreme happiness and to add the ed means that it's sort of ... describing something. Like a the way someone's face looks...." He was catching on. 

"MadMax!" I interrupted. "All done, baby? Go brush your teeth and get your school things ready, baby. I'll come get you in a minute. You can watch cartoons until I get there." 

Maggie's cheeks darkened when I sent her sister away. She was figuring out that I was trying to spare her from hearing something. It meant that she'd guessed these words had an illicit double meaning. 

Maggie waited for her sister to leave the room, grumping, before she continued. "Um... coital." 

"Nope!" I sat my coffee down and raised my hands in defeat. Frank was sitting there, mouth wide open in shock at the words coming from his baby girl's mouth. "Frank. Living room. Now. Margaret Lynn, you finish your homework, now. Your  _real_ homework." She blushed and nodded, obviously caught. 

I dragged my husband into the living room, he was beginning to steam from the ears. "What the  _fuck_ are they teaching in seventh grade?! We send them to this fancy private school, because they're so open and modern and two fucking dads and blah blah blah.... and I'm all about sex education, but this is a class of twelve year olds! Gerard! My twelve year old just asked me to define COITAL." 

"Think about it baby." I grabbed Frank's face and made him look at me. "Those aren't school words. She asked about the wrong tenses. Satisfied instead of 'satisfy' and coital instead of 'coitus.' Where... could she have heard those words?" 

Frank shook his head, looked at me dumbly. 

"Think about what we did late last night?" 

"The movie marathon that kept me up until two?" Frank questioned. 

"Think about during the first movie..."

"During the... oh.  _Oh."_

"Yeah."

+++

_"God baby. You're so fucking tight. I love to feel you stretch."_

_"Keep it down!" I giggled, though strained. "The kids! They'll hear you!"_

_"Me?" Frank asked incredulously. "You're the one that can never stay silent. The movie is loud anyway, they won't even notice a few more screams."_

_I stopped talking as my talented husband got to work, pounding into me firmly and somehow keeping up with the delicious stroking of my own cock in between us. His calloused, guitar playing fingers worked magic on me, but I managed to keep my whimpering moans quiet as he drove into me and drove me toward my own orgasm._

_"Fuck... Gee... oh my god." He panted. "Are you okay?"_

_"You're worried about inflicting pain?! Now?! Jesus Frank. Keep going!" I whisper/screamed._

_"Shit. Baby. Just... ugh!" I was still worried about him being so vocal. We'd only put the kids to bed a couple of hours ago, and I was nervous that they'd hear us. At the same time, I wasn't in the right frame of mind to correct my husband any more. I was being well fucked, not much else could fit into my brain at the moment._

_When we'd finished, we laid side by side as the title screen for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre played over and over again._

_I rolled over and rested my head on his chest, wincing at the sharp pain in my lower back. "You look so fucking blissed out, Frankie." I laughed and kissed his chin, looking up at him._

_"It's you, Gee. You leave me completely satisfied. Every single time," he said with an indulgent grin._

_"It's one of my many gifts. Art, cooking, power-bottom."_

_He groaned at my bad joke and pulled me up to him for a real kiss. "Can't you just let me enjoy my post-coital bliss without being a sarcastic shit?"_

_"Coital!?" I laughed. "Who says coital anymore?! Besides. I wasn't being sarcastic. I'm totally a power-bottom and you know it. Why do you think I let you top so much?"_

_Frank smacked my ass and then pushed me over and off of him. I laughed and threw a pillow at the target his naked ass made as he bent over to change the DVDs before cuddling up to me again. It had been a pretty great night._

_+++_

We went back into the kitchen and I grabbed the hand written 'vocabulary' list from Maggie's things before Frank and I sat down on either side of her. I handed Frank the list and his eyes bulged at the next word. 'Power-Bottom'.  Jesus Christ. 

"Maggie? You wanna tell us why you wanted to know the meanings of these words?" Frank started. I could tell he was uncomfortable, but I had convinced him to do this with me. Maggie knew about sex. The nurse had thrown a 'period' party for all the girls in fifth grade at the beginning of the year, since girls were going through puberty earlier and earlier. Mikey's wife told me she had been nine when she got her first period, and that scared the shit out of me. I was all for advanced sex ed, especially since Maggie had two dads, but I made Alicia swear to help me with girl talk at that point. I was thinking I might have had to call her later that day. I didn't think my limited experiences with vagina was going to help my daughter figure her own body out. 

"I heard you guys last night," she admitted, looking down at her cold eggs and recently finished homework. 

"We figured," I said, trying to ease Frank's discomfort by taking the lead. "Maggie, it's okay to have questions about sex. That's what coital mean, Mags. Sex." She blushed and nodded. "It's not okay, however, to listen to your parents and then trick them into answering your questions by faking vocab words. In front of your baby sister."

"Sorry, Daddy. Sorry, Papa. I didn't mean to listen, I got up and needed a drink and your room is right by the kitchen and... " She was going to cry in embarrassment. I could feel it. Fuck, I might cry, too. 

"Stop. Maggie, it's okay. We couldn't keep it a secret forever. I mean... you knew, didn't you? Married grown-ups have... sex. And your Dad and I are married grown-ups." Frank looked like he was gonna die. 

Maggie's cheeks couldn't be pinker. I was sure mine matched. 

"Baby, uh... " I fought for words. A first for me. "Listen, naturally, your Papa and I are really uncomfortable answering questions about sex that involves  _us._ It's completely inappropriate. I know you're curious and you're not wrong to want to know, but we can't talk about what you heard. We can, and  _should_ , have a discussion about sex in general, though. If we explain to you the basics, the mechanics... you'll be able to think through your questions on your own. Okay?" 

Maggie nodded. "I'm sorry dad. This is so fucking awkward. I just... I feel different lately. Like... I think I might like boys. I'll be thirteen soon, and I know girls who are already  _doing it_ and..."

"Who?" Frank cut in. "I want names, Margaret. You can't hang out with girls like that... oh my god. I'm not ready to be a grandpa." 

"Shut up, Frank," I snapped at him, but bit back a laugh. "Maggie isn't like that. She's smart. She's coming to us with her questions and not making rash decisions. Maggie is a good kid. Smart kid." I smiled at my daughter and kissed her cheek. Frank kept opening and closing his mouth like a confused gold fish.

"Tonight, Mags," I continued. "We'll talk about it all tonight. You and me and Papa. We'll answer all of your questions. No matter how weird we all feel after."

"Can we invite Uncle Mikey and Auntie Alicia, too? Maybe over for dinner? She might be helpful if I have girl-type questions you can't answer." She said, nervously. 

"I think that's a great idea, Mags," Frank said, regaining composure. "Mikey can play with Max while we talk, too." He leaned forward and hugged his daughter, and I joined them. It was barely a moment before a fourth set of arms joined in. 

"Unca Mikey is coming!?" Maxine asked excitedly. "Can he please bring his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game? The one for the old Nintendo thing? He has he can beat it, but I call bullshit."

Frank burst into laughter and I had to wipe my eyes. "I've been calling bullshit for about thirty years, baby. You're right. He hasn't beaten it, but it won't stop him from trying," I said. "Now, if you were in school?"

"I would call shenanigans." Max said proudly. 

"Atta girl," I said, and Frank and I grinned at each other, holding hands behind our hugging daughters. "I have two very smart, beautiful girls." 


	2. The Invitation

Frank had been fidgeting all day. 

I went to the book store after dropping the kids off at school, and Frank tagged along. He said he wasn't busy that day, but I saw him text his secretary about pushing back a few things. My honey was nervous, and if I hadn't also been, it would have been funny; cute. 

Sadly, I couldn't find a book called, "How to Talk to Your Daughter About Sex When She Has Two Gay Dads Who Haven't Even Had Contact With A Vagina Since High School: Vol 1." That would have been really helpful. Maggie already had "The Care And Keeping Of You," she'd gotten it during that fifth grade puberty party, but I decided to get her the second edition, the one aimed for older girls. 

In the car on the way to the grocery store, I called my brother's house. Alicia should be home, I thought. 

"What's up, dork?" he answered the phone instead. Lovely.

"Nothing, dweeb. I actually need to talk to your wife. Put her on the phone."

"Al? Why d'you wanna talk to her? She's not half as cool as me," Mikey whined. 

"She's infinitely cooler than you, for the simple fact that she isn't you. She's also like... up for Sainthood or something for putting up with your whiny ass. Go watch wrestling and hand the phone to your better half, asshole." 

"Al! My terminally lame brother wants to talk to you!" I heard my brother shout. Then I heard him yelp. I think Alicia punched him. I always did like her.

Frank was laughing beside me. Being an only child himself, he always found it interesting how I could insult my brother with such affection. 

"Hey, Gee! What's up?" Alicia picked up the phone. 

"Hey, Al! Uh.. so... do you and little shit have any plans for dinner tonight?" I started. 

"Not really. I was going to to throw a frozen pizza in the oven. I'm lazy today," she replied. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Well do you and Mikey want to come to ours for dinner? Frank and I, we could really use your help," I said, fidgeting with the rip in my jeans. Frank looked over to me from the driver's side and I could tell he was dying to know her response. We  _really_ did need help here. 

"Uh, sure. Yeah. What do you need help with? Over dinner?" 

"Well, not so much  _over_ dinner, but after. So. Listen... Maggie got up for a drink late last night and she heard Frank and I having sex." I decided just to say it, it wasn't the weirdest sentence I was going to have to say out loud today, may as well get used to it. 

Alicia's laughter was immediate. "She head like, the moaning and groaning and shit, or were you guys doing the talking thing?" 

"The talking thing?" I asked. Frank's eyebrow quirked. 

"You know... the running commentary you guys do when you really get into it. Anyone who has stayed in a room adjacent from yours has heard it. You talk about how tight each other's asses are. How good your dicks feel. 'Oh my god, Frankie your ass is so tight. How do you stay so fucking tight!' 'Shut up Gerard and suck my cock.' Blah, blah, blah," she explained, mimicking our voices. Mine wasn't so high, thank you very much.

Alicia was being very matter-of-fact about the talking Frank and I do in bed, which I didn't think was unusual. Most couples talk while fucking, right? Right? I could hear Mikey in the background asking, "Are you guys talking about the talking thing Gee and Frank do? Gross!"

I groaned into the receiver. "First of all, Al. It's not that weird. People talk in bed. What are you and Mike, Scientologists? Second of all, how am I gonna suck Frank's cock if I'm buried in his ass? I don't bend that well. Eyes on the road, Frank!" 

Our car had swerved the teensiest bit at my last remark.

"That's childbirth they don't talk during. And I don't know I was making up examples. Anyway. No, we talk in bed, you guys just _really_ get into it. I was dating Mikey for sixth months and I knew about Frank's Daddy kinks and the fact that you are seriously well-endowed."

"Alicia! Oh my god," I couldn't stop myself from laughing.  "You know too much about my sex life."

"So, what did Magpie hear?" Alicia pressed.

"I guess she heard a lite version of the talking thing? She came to breakfast with a list of words for Frank to define. Tried to pass it off as homework. Almost worked until she got to 'coital' and 'power-bottom.'"

"You call that lite?"

"At least it wasn't Daddy kink?"

"Holy shit, Gerard!" Al was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. 

"Okay, okay. Well. Maggie has been having some thoughts and feelings about sex and stuff, and I guess last night she realized that Frank and I know about that shit and now she has questions. It's time for the sex talk."

"Oh, god. Yeah. I guess it is," Alicia sobered up. "She is twelve, now. Girls are starting to become sexualized so early. I'm taking it you need an assist from someone who actually  _has_ a vagina?" Mikey's disgust could once again be heard. 

"Yeah. I mean, Frank and I want to talk to Maggie about this, it's our responsibility and all, but it would be really great if you could sit in. Answer questions we can't. Al... she says she knows girls who are already having sex. Frank and I both lost our virginities in high school and that is right around the corner for her. I was fourteen! And now I look at my twelve year old and worry that she'll be having sex on the same schedule as me, and it freaks me the fuck out," I admitted. This whole thing was too scary. 

"Yeah. I guess that comes with fatherhood, though, right, Gee?" she soothed. 

"Yeah, I guess." 

"Mikey and I will be there. Text me what time, okay?" Alicia was the best. What would I do without my sister-in-law right now?

"Okay. And tell Mikey that he's on MadMax duty tonight. She requests TNMT, and says that him beating it is bullshit. We all agree." 

I could hear Alicia's smile. "Yeah. I'll tell him. And don't worry, Gee. Tell Frank, too. Don't worry. This is a normal part of growing up. She'll be fine. She's a smart kid."

Alicia  _really_ was the best. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like this is going to be a three parter.  
> I couldn't resist adding the phone call, asking Alicia to come help out with the Talk.
> 
> Find me on Twitter -> @FranklyMisterS


	3. The Reassurances

"Do we have to tell her about  _gay_ sex," Frankie asked me, looking up from his laptop screen. 

"If she asks about it," I reply. 

"She's not gay, though, right? I mean. Even if she is, her brand of gay sex would be different than our brand." 

"We have a brand now?" I mocked him, looked from where I stood, chopping celery, to where my husband sat worrying over a computer screen. Suddenly, my mind was filled with an ad campaign for our brand of gay sex. 'Frankie and Gee, getting it done.' Or maybe 'Doing it Right'? Yeah. That sounded good. I envisioned a red circle with a photo of me and Frank kissing in the middle of it, on a white background. I would look damn good and Frank would have all his piercings in, the side of his neck with the scorpion on it would be showing. 'Frankie and Gee, doing it right. Buttstuff for more than fifteen years.' Instead of money back guarantee, we could offer a money-shot guarantee. Wait. When did this become the cover of a porn video? Whoops. 

I filed the thoughts away for the moment, with no denying that they could end up on a sketch-book page later that day. I needed to address Frank's questions. 

"Yes, Frank. We should explain all of it. Everything. Sex between gay men, sex between lesbians, sex in general. Whatever sex questions she asks. And tonight can't be a once off, either. We have to be completely approachable about this stuff no matter how old she is. Whenever she needs to talk about sex, we need to be ready to do it. How we handle talking about sex could impact the way she sees it for the rest of her life. I really can't handle my baby being a truck stop hooker, like those kids on the Discovery Channel... So Frank? Keep your fucking cool." My husband cackled lightly, but then his brow pinched as he considered the seriousness of my worries. 

"Fuck," he muttered, and began furiously typing once more. 

Frank and I had both come from closed off Italian Catholic families. Sex was a four lettered word and talking about gay sex was like calling your family's priest a motherfucker while you shook your dong and dipped it in the wine at Holy Communion. It just wasn't done. But the reality here was that Maggie was naturally going to have all kinds of questions about it. It made sense, since she had grown up with Frank and I. We could explain hetero sex to her, and we _would,_ but I imagined that would lead to the obvious... 'but how does that work when there's no vagina' questions. For a split second, I wished I was a mother instead of a very gay dad.  Why had we thought we could handle daughters? We were just going to fail them and it was all the fault of me and my giant penis. My sweet babies were going to be truck-stop hookers and then I would relapse and drink myself into oblivion, Frank would leave me and I would lose my contracts. I would be forced into prostitution, too. Maybe working at the same truck stop as my daughters. I shook my head and laughed at myself. This was why I was a writer, my imagination always ran away with me. Even in potentially horrifying situations. 

I dumped the onions and celery into the pan with the melted lactose-free butter, sauteing the mix for a moment before turning the heat down. I was making a mini Thanksgiving dinner, complete with cornbread stuffing. I figured we could probably use some fucking comfort food. As the vegetables softened, I went to stand behind Frank at his computer. My chin rested on his shoulder as he skimmed an article about how to talk to your teen about safe sex. He sighed in frustration and hit 'back' on the browser, revealing his Google search results. Frighteningly, he had typed "Preteen girls AND sex talk" into the search field. I stood up and gently slapped the back of his head. 

"Research is a good idea, Frankie, but when the cops come knocking at the door with a warrant for your hard-drive, I told you so." 

"Awwww.... fuck." Frank muttered again and went to clear out his search history. Like that would help. 

 

+++

 

Hours later, everyone was home and dinner was over. It had been an awkward affair, the only one who didn't realize why were were all here was Max. She'd stuffed her face with both turkey and tofurkey and made fun of her Uncle's haircut. I was happy that one of my kids was retaining her innocence.

Mikey and I got up and washed the dishes afterward as the rest of the family took slices of pie into the living room for video games.

"I'm buying Al something big and expensive and indulgent for Christmas, Mikes. Try not to get too butthurt over me one-upping you, okay?" I laughed as I passed my brother the last of the pots to dry and put away. He nodded and moved his hands over the thing, drying with an awkward precision. I would have wiped the water away and thrown it into the cupboard, Mikey was meticulous. It was something he and Frankie both did -  an incredible attention to detail, even when they didn't mean to. 

"Maggie and Max are perfect. You and Frank are insanely happy and lucky. Nothing anyone else says makes a bit of goddamned difference when you look at your family and realize that you have everything you've ever wanted. You're good for them and they're good for you," Mikey launched with absolutely no preamble. 

"Uh.... thanks, Mikes... but... what?" I laughed.

"You were barely a year sober when you and Frank decided to adopt Maggie. Everyone told you it was going to be a shit storm. It was hard enough for two men to raise kids, without those two being a busy record producer and his former drunk/junkie husband and comic-book artist." 

"Junkie implies herion, Mikes, that was never my bag."

"Whatever. You were both busy and you had baggage and Frank was getting some notoriety from his label and you had just pulled yourselves together. Then Maggie came along and she brought so much peace to your eyes. She was like a fucking anchor. Never mind that you were going to be raising her in some kind of spotlight or the fact that you were scared shitless, you realized that she was part of your family before you and Frank ever signed on the dotted line. You and I were sitting with Frank and little Maggie. They were curled on the couch sleeping and you turned to me and told me that you were never going back. That Frank and Maggie depended on you and that no matter what the press or our parents or fucking homophobes on the street said, you knew you were right where you belonged. And I promised to remind you of that whenever shit got rough. You're good for them, Gerard. And they're good for you. You can handle this."

The memories accompanying Mikey's words flooded through my brain. Tears flooded my eyes. "Mikey..." My hands were wetter than my face but I pulled him to me for a hug. He hugged me back and kissed my cheek. 

"You're a good dad, Gerard. Your family... our family... it works because of you." 

"And Frankie."

"And Frank," he laughed. "Now go. Go traumatize yourself, your partner, my niece and my wife. I'll finish up here and then challenge MadMax to TMNT."

"You should have kids Mikey."

"Alicia says I need to grow up first."

"Alicia is smart."

"She tells me everyday."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. Four-Parter?
> 
> I'm ridiculously busy, but I got this typed out while traveling yesterday. 
> 
> I PROMISE THAT I WON'T DELAY THE TALK LONG.
> 
> Find me on Twitter -> @FranklyMisterS


	4. The Talk

It was impossible to discern who was the most uncomfortable among the four of us who sat in the girls' bedroom. Frankie was perched on Max's bright green bed next to me. He was picking at the threads in the seams, pulling them loose. I swatted his hand away. Alicia was perched on Maggie's violet bed, legs crossed, and waiting. Maggie sat criss-cross-applesauce next to her, looking down at her folded hands. 

"So, uh... how are we gonna do this, Daddy?" she asked me. 

"Dunno, Mags. I'm as new to this as you are. This kind of conversation, I mean. Not sex. I've been having sex for... well. A really long time. And that's not what you wanted to know," I faltered. "What  _do_  you want to know, Maggie? Do you have questions?" Now was not the time for my rambling. 

"I guess, I actually do want to know how long you've been having sex. Like... when did you guys lose your virginity?" 

Frank paled visibly. This was a question he didn't really want to answer. Alicia took the lead with this one. "I was eighteen my first time," she said. "Stereotypical 'girl cashes in her V-card at prom' thing."

"Seventeen," I answered when Al nodded at me. "I was drunk at a party. I'd done other stuff before, but that was the first time I'd gone all the way." This wasn't so bad. I could handle questions like this. No big deal. I elbowed Frank. "You, babe?"

"I was fifteen," he said. "I wasn't ready, like, at all, but I was young and fucking stupid. I was really lucky the girl didn't get pregnant or some shit." 

"Girl?!" Maggie busted out. "You... you had sex with a girl?! Papa. You're  _gay."_

"Oh my god! Are you serious?! I'm GAY?!" Frank jumped up and looked vaguely panicked before laughing and sitting back down. "I'm actually bisexual, but the only person I ever want to be with is my husband, and he's male, so gay works just as well, in my opinion. But sexuality is different for everyone." 

"And it changes," I added in. "I lost my virginity to a girl, too. In fact, I was a card carrying straight man until I met your papa. I was attracted to him right away and it confused the fuck out of me. He was on stage with his old band, Leathermouth, and he was singing in that guttural way he has... and it was like a light switched on. Like.. oh. Shit. Guys can be sexy too. We weren't even  _friends_ then. We knew each other, but like... anyway. I'm going off topic. Once I realized I liked guys, I dated a few before your Papa finally plucked up the courage to ask me out." I smiled at my Frankie, an he squeezed my knee affectionately. 

"So you're bisexual, too, Dad?" 

"Nah," I replied. "Like Frank said. I'm only interested in one person, and that's Frank. If I weren't with your papa, I don't know what I would be, honestly."

"You'd be bi, right? You like boys and girls both?" Maggie pressed me.

"Not necessarily. Bi means "two" and there are more than two genders." I noticed her confused look, so continued. "Gender isn't defined by your sex organs, Maggie. It's a complex issue. It's more how you identify yourself. Frankie and I are cisgender. That means that our gender identity matches up with our sex organs. So is Alicia, as far as I'm aware?" Alicia nodded in affirmation. "But some people are born with sex organs that don't match up with how they feel inside. Those people are called transgender. I'm not sure I would want to limit myself to a label."

"Yeah," Frank added. "There's also people who identify with both main genders, and they're called bigender."

"Or no gender at all - agender! Or they fluctuate between genders; that's usually called gender fluid," I said. "This is a complicated topic, I know, and it never gets any clearer. But it doesn't have to be. The only gender you ever need to be aware of is your own. However you feel about it, and you can talk to us anytime if you ever have questions."

Maggie nodded, pensive. "So... sex? Like... what... I mean... how?"

Frank blushed and answered her first. "Sex is any sexually intimate act between two people. Uh... in the case of a man and a woman, that could mean giving each other pleasure using their mouths, hands, and uh... bodies."

"Yeah, Papa. I know that but I'm asking  _how?_ "

Frank looked at me, desperately. I took pity and fielded this one. "Well. Um.. hands. You know... touching. Touching each other's bodies.... shit." I was just as unprepared for this shit as my husband was. 

Thankfully, Alicia helped me out. "Look, it's probably easier if you understood your anatomy. Between your legs, Maggie, there are three openings. One is very, very tiny and it's called your urethra it's where you urinate from. The next opening, you can actually feel when you touch yourself down there, it's called the vagina. And around back you have an anus, or like... butthole. Anyway, around front, just inside the first fold of skin and before the first opening is a little nub of skin called the clitoris. That is where the majority of sexual pleasure comes from." She nodded back to me to continue. I was so thankful to have her there.

"Yes. So. When someone pleases a woman with their hands, they use their fingers to massage that spot and inside of the vagina. The same can be done with mouths and tongues and such, without going into too much detail. And finally there's penetration. If the sex is with a man, that means that the man puts his penis inside of the woman's vagina."

Maggie's eyes widened. She looked at Al. "And that feels  _good_? People enjoy this?"

Al laughed and nodded. "If you're ready and it's done right, yes. It does feel good."

 "It seems awkward, and uncomfortable. Like, why would I want someone inside of me?" Maggie mused.

"I will buy you a car if you promise to feel that way until you're at least thirty," Frank answered. Maggie laughed. I laughed, too, before becoming slightly annoyed. 

"Frank," I scolded. He knew what I was getting at. I didn't want her to think she couldn't talk to us about this shit, which she might do if she thought we'd be disappointed. "It makes us uncomfortable to think about you having sex at all, Maggie, but you know we'd never be disappointed in you, right? If you're ready emotionally, mentally, and physically for sex, and you decide to, we're not going to be ashamed of you or disappointed." 

My daughter smiled warmly at us, and her Aunt put a hand on Maggie's knee affectionately. It was one of those after-school special moments. 

"Physically ready?" she asked. "Like... I need to work out? Be skinny?"

"No!" Frank and I chorused. With Alicia adding in "Hell no!"

"What you dad meant to say was physically prepared. As in, on birth control and set up with a gynecologist," Frank said.

"Oh..." Maggie looked at her lap. "Like a doctor?"

"Right!" I said. "For women. It's a doctor that specializes in the health of female reproductive organs. You have to start seeing one as soon as you become sexually active. He or she can prescribe a birth control method and give you check ups and check you for STDs between...um... partners. And you need to be checked even if you're with someone of the same sex," I decided to throw that in, just in case Maggie swung that way eventually. 

"What kind of birth control do you use, Aunt Al?" 

"I'm on the pill. I take it at the same time every day and it keeps me from getting pregnant. To be safe, I also make Mikey wear a condom," she answered straight faced. I hoped this line of questioning wouldn't last long. Growing up, I had seen my brother's dick more often than I was comfortable with, but thinking about it in action made me super uncomfortable. 

"Dad?" Maggie looked at me, expectantly.

"Yeah?" I answered. 

"Do you use condoms?" 

Frank choked on his own spit for a minute. I rubbed his back and arched my brow at him as I addressed my daughter. "Men don't get pregnant, baby. I thought you knew that much, I didn't think to explain-"

"No! I do know! But like... to be safe? Diseases and stuff!" Maggie blushed.

"Oh... no. No we don't use them. Um... Frank and I are faithful to each other. We have been for more than fifteen years and we've been tested several times, we know we're clean. Neither of us uses or has  _ever_ used intravenous drugs, either. Some infections, like HIV, that's the scary one that leads to AIDs, can linger dormant for up to ten years in your blood. So unless you're with the same person for more than a decade, and you're 100% sure you're both faithful, you need to be tested every six months."

Maggie grinned at Frank and I and he let out a bemused, "..what?" 

"Nothing. It just means my dads really love each other. There's not even a question in your minds that you're faithful to each other for so long. Makes me feel happy. And loved. I love you both. All of you."

I'm not saying that I cried at that.... but there were definitely tears in my eyes. I surged forward to hug my daughter and found Frank doing the same. "We love you, too, baby. You and your sister are the  _world_ to your dad and me." Frank murmured into her hair.

Group hugging done, we all sat back. 

"So you know about safety and genders and the mechanics... what else do you want to know, baby?" I asked. Alicia's arm was still wrapped around Mag's shoulders affectionately, and my daughter was leaning into the hug, looking tired. 

"I don't want to know about  _you_ specifically; but could you explain gay sex? I can figure straight stuff out now, and even girl/girl stuff... but how do boys... uh... have sex with each other?" 

Frank and I shared a panicked look for a minute. We were hoping this wouldn't be an issue since our daughters didn't have dicks. 

"Uh, well. It's a lot like straight sex in that mouths and hands can be used to cause pleasure," Frank started. "Um. Oral sex is when someone uses their mouth to give a person pleasure. When one performs oral sex on a man, they put their mouth on or around the man's penis." My husband was actually scarlet. 

"So there's no... like.. sex, sex?" Maggie pressed him.

"Well, oral sex is sex. And so are hand jobs, really... that's uh... when someone uses their hand to make a penis feel good. Both of those things can cause a man to ejaculate," Frank defended his thoughts.

"Ejaculate?" Maggie piped up, and Alicia stifled a laugh.

"Yeah. Uh... come? Aw...fuck. I mean. When a man finishes... It's the result of the penis being stimulated to orgasm; stuff uh... comes out of the penis. It's the sperm, which is what gets a woman pregnant.  Orgasm is this.... really, really good feeling caused by sex..." Frank stuttered out.

Maggie nodded, pensively. "So no, like... penetration?"

"Well," I said with a huge breathe. "There is. Penises can be put into butts, Maggie."

She laughed. She laughed so hard that her face was nearly purple. Then she didn't see Frank or I laughing, so she stopped. Her eyes got wide and scared.

"G-girls' butts too?"

"Sure. If the girl likes that. There are nerve endings in the anal cavity that feel good, but getting there can be painful. Some do, some don't," Alicia responded.

"Anal sex is different for guys, though," I jumped in. "Males have an extra gland called the prostate and it's, you know, in there, and it feels really, really good when that is uh...touched? It can still be painful at first because the anus doesn't open as easily as a vagina, but once you're in... it's pleasurable." 

I didn't know I could sweat so much in an air conditioned home. 

A moment of quiet passed and we all looked tense; waiting for the next awkward question. 

"I'm not ready for any of this," Maggie stated after a long, loud breath.

Frank looked notably relieved.

"But I'm glad I understand. And now I know I can talk to you, if I ever have questions."

I got up and knelt on the floor in from of Maggie and Frank wiggled into her other side.

"We love you, Maggie-bean," he said to her and we all squeezed her affectionately.

"Just uh.... One thing," Frank said and I looked up at him warningly. "I'm not ready to be a grandpa for at least ten more years, so if you ever feel ready, talk to one of us about getting on birth control, please?"

She laughed.

"What if I liked girls, Papa?"

"I think that would be best for everyone, baby," he sighed with relief and I hit his knee.

"You like whoever you like baby, and we'll make sure you're safe," I countered my husband.

"I liked that pie we had for dessert. Would it be safe to have another piece?" Maggie hedged and I chuckled. She was still my twelve year old girl.

"I'll split a piece with you!" Alicia said and grabbed Maggie's hand, dragging her off to the kitchen, leaving me and Frank alone.

"That went..." I started, before being interrupted by Frank's kiss. 

"Awkwardly?"

"Yeah," I said. "But well. Informative. Now she can just blush and ignore us when she hears us getting busy, like we did with our parents."

'Hm. We should sound proof our room, though, baby. Get like.... baby monitors for the kitchen into our room, so we can hear them but they can't hear us. They're getting older... staying up later. And I can' stand the thought of making you stay quiet," Frank said, wrapping arms around me and nipping at my neck.

"Me?! This whole mess was you're fault! The talking thing is all you."

"It's both of you!" I heard Mikey shout as he walked past us toward the bathroom. I blushed.

"Fine. Soundproof the bedroom," I huffed.

"I'll call my guy in the morning," he said. "Tonight, you'll just have to watch your volume."

"Gross!" came my brother's voice again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. This has been fun.  
> Find me on twitter -> @FranklyMisterS


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